What the stink is about...

Here is a sample of previous posts that caused such a controversy in my reports at work. Can you believe that this stuff offended someone?

Razors pain you. Rivers are damp. Acids stain you and drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; nooses give. Gas smells awful; you might as well live.

Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like a banana.
Outside of a dog, a book is probably a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, its too dark too read.

Rule of Evolving Bryographic Sysyems:
While bryographic plants are typically encountered in substrata of earthy or mineral matter in concreted state, discrete substrata elements occasionally display a roughly spherical configuration which, in the presence od suitable gravitational and other effects, lends itself to combine translatory and rotational motion. One notices in such cases an absence of otherwise typical accretion of bryophyta. We therefore conclude that a rolling sone gathers no moss.

The inevitable result of improved and enlarged communications between different levels of hierachy is a vastly increased area of misunderstanding.

I filled out an application that said: "In case of emergency notify" I wrote doctor.