A keyboard? How quaint...

640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates '81
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. -- President and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.


THINK -- it gives you something to do while the computer is down.

To err is human. To really screw things up you need a computer.

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

But what ... is it good for? -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

With computers, every morning is the dawn of a new error.

Landau's Programming Paradoxes:

The world's best programmer has to be someone.
The more humanlike a computer becomes, the less it spends time computing and the more it spends time doing more humanlike work.
A software committee of one is limited by its own horizon and will specify software only that far.
When the system programmers declare the system works, it has worked and will work again some day.

Turnauckas' Law:
The attention span of a computer is only as long a it electrical cord.

The Law of Computerdo According to Golub:

Fuzzy project objectives are used to avoid the embarrassment of estimating the corresponding cost.
A carelessly planned project will take only twice as long.
The effort required to correct course increases geometricallly with time.
Project teams detest weekly progress reporting becase it so vividly manifests their lack of progress.

Blauw's Law:
Established technology tends to persist in spite of new technology.

Brook's Law:
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

Hoare's Law of Large Programs:
Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.

The Law of Computability Applied to Social Science:
The first 90 per cent of the tasks takes 10 per cent of the time and the last 10 per cent takes the other 90 per cent.